Dushiqiao

Friday, 16 February

Wu Shangying invited me to lunch. We had roasted suckling pig.

In the afternoon Zhang Bojun came. He showed us the open cablegram from the conference of the people of the Yenan CCP. The conference cablegram illustrated discontentment with the current situation. It criticised the National government in ten points but their wording was really poor, which proves that the so-called talents in the CCP are just mediocre. Zhang Bojun said that the talents in the KMT are ten times or even on hundred times that of any party, though was puzzling that talents were not used in a right way. He is quite right. Deng Zhaoyin went to Beibei with Zhang Bojun.

I received a cablegram from Jingcheng, saying that the Bank of East Asia loan has expired. He asked me what I was going to do. I also received a letter from Bingkun and Bingyi, saying Jingcheng forced them to give up the three houses at Fushouli left to him by father, so he could find someone to mortgage them for thirty-thousand dollars to settle the debt. Jingcheng’s words were coercive. Mother was also willing to sell the houses at thirty-thousand dollars to settle the debt for me, but she was unwilling to put them on mortgage because she feared that when payment was due we would have no money to return so that they would put them up for auction. Also, she was afraid that when it was done the amount would still not be enough to settle the debt and we would have to pay heavy interest as well. So they wrote to ask me. What Jincheng did was completely unexpected by me. In the past, he has said he could give me one or two hundred dollars so I could attain economic independence. These were all empty words. We have been close to each other since childhood, and when he was in need I had tried my best to help. Now he is extremely wealthy and with two to three million dollars in hand. He only guaranteed me for thirty thousand dollars and the interest is completely paid by me. But even for this he is unwilling to help – forcing me to sell my late father’s properties. He is so devoid of sympathy that in this regard he is worse than fifth uncle.[1] When I read the letter sent via cablegram, I cannot describe my sadness in words. When I thought of my mother and brothers that they are willing to sell all the properties of my late father to maintain my credibility and without any word of complaint, and also in order not to make me feel sad, the letter was filled with consoling words. I felt a lot more dejected because of my mother and brothers’ affection. From now on I shall work much harder so as to repay their kindness. I told myself that I should be more tolerant. As Jincheng took such a stern attitude it is no use me begging from him any longer. I replied immediately to mother’s suggestion, agreeing to sell the houses at thirty thousand dollars to settle the debt. And for future family expenditure I wrote to Chan Chak and Dai Defu, asking them to borrow money until July or August this year when brother Bingyi’s chicken farm will have an income, we can then be self-sufficient and need not ask for help from others.

[1] Fu Yipang.