Saturday, 22 March

Twenty-fifth day of the second lunar month

Had a most sweet dream last night. It was the second time I ever dreamt of being with the lovely H.W. It seemed like on board a big ship under the beautiful moonlight with her alone on a solitary part of the deck gazing at the sea full of tender passions. I approached her from behind and her inviting look completely disarmed me. I embraced her and had a most passionate kiss. When I woke up my heart was full of love, and I refused to open my eyes for a long time, trying to retain such dear feelings as long as I could. Alas! I love her. I love her dearly. But the gulf between us is so big that I can never think of her love for me. Nay, it would, be a sin, even crime, for me even to give a fleeting thought to it. If, instead of a dream, I had actually committed such a base crime, I would rather kill myself. I pray God will forgive me for my evil thought now and protect me from doing wrong. If, unfortunately, such an occasion should arise when my moral strength against such strong temptation would need his help.

Had tiffin at President Sun’s and afterwards to Chungking with him. I had arranged to stay at the Round House. But at the last moment we were told Mrs. Sun was coming in a few days’ time so to my greatest relief, I stayed at Dr. Wang Chonghui’s. Owing to his family troubles Dr. Sun Fo was not in a companionable mood. Consideration for others has never been his virtue and, when facing so many heart-breaking annoyances, I really pity those who have to stay with him. Henderson complained of Hitler’s inability to consider any or anybody’s outlook except his own. I am afraid it is a common weakness of most great men, not only the Nazi Leader. Dr. Wang Chonghui and his family were happy to have me under their roof, and I certainly feel more at home with them.