Monday, 29 November

At noon, the Canadian Minister Wilgress visited me and we talked for quite a long time. He told me that the Generalissimo was definitely not in Chongqing, because for the upgrading of the Sino-Canadian diplomatic relationship, Canada was still waiting for a reply from China so it couldn’t announce it yet. (The Canadian side wanted China and the Soviet Union to announce simultaneously.) According to the Canadian Minister’s report in Chongqing, it was absolutely because the Generalissimo was away from Chongqing, and he would not return for ten days which explained the delay. To prove it with what the New York Times published, it was likely that the meeting of the four leaders was possible. In the past Ambassador Kerr would inform the Dominions’ diplomats on matters big and small, but on this visit Kerr never mentioned it to him and the Australian Chargé d’Affaires, possibly it was for security reasons. He suspected that if it wasn’t held in Cairo of Egypt, it should be at the resort town at Iran or the Caspian Sea. With regard to the reason of the meeting he thought that it was because there was great change in the European situation. What he said was quite reasonable. I talked to him about the post-war issue in detail. He said that in terms of ideology the United States was much more advanced than Britain, he was afraid that Conservative elements would still hold the majority. Churchill was a good leader during wartime but it would absolutely not be the case when peace came after the war. Even Eden was quite conservative. As for the Canadian side, Mackenzie King was quite honest, just like Hull, but because of age, he was also quite Conservative. But what distinguished him from others was that he wasn’t opinionated and could move with the times. Canada’s status as a country was mediocre, and it stood between Britain and the United States, in the future it would take a heavy responsibility internationally.

At 4.00 p.m. I received a telegram from Bingkun, saying that mother had passed away at 8.00 a.m. on the 26 of this month. I felt extremely sad. Liu, Chen and Hu and others tried to console me, but I was overwhelmed by my grief. I was back to my room and cried until 8.00 in the evening. Looking back over my life my greatest fortune was that I received the most ideal parent. My father was the kindest and a person with old morality. So I talked to my siblings that if I had some slight achievements they came solely from blessings from my parent. Unfortunately, my father died early. The kindness of my mother to me was particularly unforgettable to us. Although we committed mistakes, the extent of my mother’s tolerance was so great that it must have come from someone who loved us from the bottom of her heart. I remembered that when I suffered the big loss in investing in the jade items, she immediately sold the three houses which my father left behind to help me pay the debt to Jincheng, which was tantamount to bankruptcy. She consoled me that it would maintain my credibility. She was fine with it and told me not to feel bad about it. When I thought of this I would always feel gratified to cry. Also for my marriage with Kitty, she opposed it and cried, saying that there would be no good result. It was a pity that I didn’t listen to her and I suffered lifelong and endless pain. But she treated Kitty as if she was her daughter. When she made any mistake, she not only didn’t tell me, but also tried to explain and defend her. Therefore Kitty was also touched by her. She once told me that she didn’t divorce me solely because she didn’t want to hurt my mother. Mother also knew that I felt very bad about the marriage, and she tried her best to help us overcome it. I worked away from home for more than 20 years and the time I lived with her at home was so short. I strived hard to gain fame to fulfill my filial piety. During family gatherings, she felt happy with our happiness. No matter it was dancing in Shanghai, or swimming, watching movies and having afternoon tea in Hong Kong, she always enjoyed accompanying us. She deemed Xu Lai (徐來)[1], Zi Luolan and others as her grandchildren. They liked her too. Probably the happiest thing in her life was to go to a department store or Wing On Street[2] with me to shop, and at the same time she took it as exercise. I also viewed it as one of the happiest things in my life. Now it is gone and I feel very sad. In the past ten odd years, I have declined several times on appointments from the Government to send me as a diplomat. My thinking was that if I was in China and my mother had any problem I could be by her side to take care of her or her funeral. But then because China was in great difficulty, I was obligated to my Party and country and therefore I had to take up the post in the Soviet Union. When I came here I had thought of this unfortunate possibility, and so I told Kitty, Jinpei and Fanny so. Now this thing finally happened. This was destiny and I couldn’t change it. In the evening, I cabled Section Head Chen Junsu to remit US$2,000 to Bingkun on behalf of me. I also asked Bingkun if mother didn’t have any specific wish, then we should try to leave the coffin in Liuzhou first until the war ended and then we could bring it back to Guangzhou so she could be buried with father. I also asked him to buy the best coffin and need not be frugal. Also, I cabled the Generalissimo to ask for compassionate leave to return for the funeral.

[1] Xu Lai (1909-1973) was a Shanghai movie star.

[2] A street in Central of Hong Kong.