Monday, 4 December

Snow, cold

From 5.00 to 7.00 p.m. Foreign Minister Molotov organised a banquet at the Guest House, so that De Gaulle could meet the Diplomatic Corps and Soviet personnel. De Gaulle talked to me for a while, saying that the China side and the Generalissimo treated him quite well. Recently the French Ambassador stationed at Chongqing has returned to France, and brought with him a letter from the Generalissimo. De Gaulle was quite satisfied. He also said that both France and China were in extremely difficult situations. In the past he thought that after one year China’s difficulty could be solved, but now he was afraid that it would last longer, then China’s difficulty could be lessened gradually. I said the last suffering would be the greatest, he thought so too. His personal secretary Jean was the brother of Xu Fuyun (徐複雲)[1]’s wife. He asked me to relay to Xu via telegram that his wife and children were safe.

In the evening, I dreamt that (name unknown) told me that she was repearedly dissatisfied with the current situation, and she was mentally too pained. I also felt that morally speaking I could no longer make her sacrifice again, because she is young and pretty, as well as well-learnt. She would have no difficulty finding a good husband. If I kept on lingering with her I would ruin her. Also I could not separate from my own world to marry her, so in the future she would hate me very much. I confessed that I could not face her, so I told her frankly, and she seemed to be in endless pain. As a matter of fact, I felt very sad too, my words were filled with tears. When she left, I cried violently in my bed until the next morning.

I received a telegram from Bingkun, saying that the China Bank in Liuzhou would be closed after moving to Duyun, therefore he wanted to be transferred to Chongqing to work in the China Bank there, and he asked me to find a job for his son Fu Dehui (傅德輝). In the telegram, he attached words from my tenth sister, saying that she and Mr. Long moved with Bingkun. Her son died in Yishan, but now she is pregnant again. She asked me to help her. I immediately cabled Wang Chonghui to find ways to transfer Bingkun to Chongqing, and I cabled to Section Head, Chen, to remit US$700 to Bingkun. US$300 of the remiitance was to him, US$200 to tenth sister, US$200 to Jinpei. I also replied to ask him to cable me the address of Jinpei.

[1] Xu Fuyun (1905-2005) was a Chinese diplomat.