Thursday, 18 September

I received a letter from Qiongfang. When Kitty [Fu uses ‘sixth sister’[1] in the diary] came to Hong Kong, she made Qiongfang feel really bad. Kitty has repeatedly told me that she has no love for me. Since our marriage in 1917, she never showed me any love like being a couple. At the beginning I really loved her, but later I found that it was merely a one-sided love and I felt great pain. I led a delinquent life when I was young and this was completely because I could find no feelings of love in my family. Kitty was determined to leave me behind and left for the United States and decided not to return. I was also very cold to her in terms of love. But I thought that morally speaking as we were a couple we should stay together until the end. Probably in my previous life I did her something really very bad, so I accepted all these retributions. I believed in the karma of Buddhism that I should repay my debt and perhaps after I had settled it I could be a bit more relaxed. Therefore, I should not hate her and I should even pity that it was this illness, and in this sense, I could love her more.

[1] He Yanfang (Kitty) was the sixth daughter of Sir Kai Ho Kai (He Chi).